I haven't written in a long time, and it is not due to lack of feelings, thought, or things to say, but I haven't had the motivation to put all those thoughts and feelings into words. Today, I was overwhelmed with such a HUGE sense of thankfulness. Looking back at the last 6 months, I am just beyond amazed how I have been blessed, how God has just had me sitting in the palm of His hand. I look back and think how did that even happen? ....There's no way. Folks, if you have ever questioned if there is a God, I'm telling you there is. There is no way I would be at the place I'm at or be blessed with the things in my life if there wasn't, it's just not possible.
I feel like a freshman all over again, starting a new school, living on campus, having to meet new friends. I am scared out of my mind. Not working, that scares me, too. Everything about my life is uncomfortable to me right now. I wouldn't change a thing though. In the midst of this whirlwind of change, I feel so at peace. Maybe because I have finally realized I'm not in control, or maybe it's because I'm so afraid that it draws me more near Him, I seek His protection. Whatever the case may be, I am so thankful for this uncomfortable feeling. A lot of times we are afraid of change, and I think it's because we can't control it, we don't know how it's going to turn out. If we really lived in the center of His will we wouldn't need to know how it's going to turn out or even control it, therefore change wouldn't be so bad. I am embracing these changes and SO thankful that I don't have to worry about what is next. I am so thankful for the feelings of fear and confusion so that I may always seek His protection and guidance. I am so thankful that He is there....everyday.
