Journal Entry 4- Holy Communion

Communion. Eucharist. One of the first of the two sacraments in the Church. The bread and the wine taken as the body and blood of Christ, our Savior, is one of the most important and powerful things we will experience in our lives. It is because Jesus died we are saved from our sins and all victories are won in His  name, and the action of communion is accepting and reminding of that truth.

1. Participating in the Lord's Supper for me is a sober yet celebratory experience. I believe that it is a real reminder of the pain and suffering Christ went through and the ultimate sacrifice he had to give: his body and blood, but it's also a reminder of how much love he had for us, for me that He did make this sacrifice and that all my sins are wiped clean by His powerful blood, and any battles are already won in His name.

2. At the Lord's table I hope to receive forgiveness, LIFE, and the promises fulfilled, all in the presence of community.



In His love.

Journal Entry 3- Gratitude

I think gratitude is one of the most important, essential parts to our relationship with God. It is our reaction, our reciprocal to the workings and love from Him in our lives. It is such a great reminder that gratitude isn't just about being thankful but it is a factor that binds us together. Thanksgiving is so important during times of joy and celebration, but also suffering and when in the valleys. I think being able to give thanks in any situation allows us to conform more to the person and being that Jesus was.

When I look back at situations where I could have been grateful and wasn't it makes me more alert and aware of the present so that I can take every chance to give thanks. Looking back I missed out on great opportunities to show my love, and gratitude and ultimately grow closer to God.

When I am feeling low, and "towards the bottom of the food chain" I just reflect on the hardships and sufferings Jesus went through. Nothing I face today is equivalent or even near the suffering He dealt with and regardless of what I'm facing, I can always be thankful for that. I also relish in the beauty of the world around me. I am so thankful for the beautiful creation God has done for me!


In love.

Journal Entry 2- Celebration

Celebration.  The definition according to The New Oxford American Dictionary of celebration is the action of marking one's pleasure at an important event or occasionby engaging in enjoyable, typically social, activity. I think a better definition that the entry points out is in essence experiencing the joy of heaven. I think that by celebrating God we are receiving joy, joy that is found in eternal life. Celebrating God doesn't mean rejoicing in the good things he does, but for having a thankful heart for the great and wonderful things God does. It is entering in a spirit of worship, praise and thanksgiving no matter the circumstances. 


I love celebrating God at any chance I have. I especially love celebrating with others, as His word says where there is two or more gathered He is present and I think there is an overwhelming power and feeling when a group of people are worshipping and praising our precious Father together. I also have found celebrating God in times that aren't great, or in times of suffering are most rewarding. I think being able to stop and be reminded of His great love, power, and the works He's doing in my life when I don't necessarily feel that reinstates a feeling of joy and can make all the difference. 

Journal Entry 1- Worship

So... for Intro to Ministry class we are asked to journal for 50 days about our reflections on the different spiritual disciplines we read about, the next 50 entries are that.

Worship


Worship is a natural tendency for human beings, we are created to desire and be devoted to something or someone. The problem arises when we create idols by worshiping something other than God. In a book by James Stuart Bell he quotes D.L. Moody, "What he needs is to be directed aright," in regards to man and worship. I believe this to be true, and by strengthening spiritual disciplines worshiping our Lord will always be primary. I love defining worship as celebration. Laughing, singing, dancing, talking... all for the sake of showing our love to our God.

Long overdue, a mix of random thoughts....

I haven't written in a long time, and it is not due to lack of feelings, thought, or things to say, but I haven't had the motivation to put all those thoughts and feelings into words. Today, I was overwhelmed with such a HUGE sense of thankfulness. Looking back at the last 6 months, I am just beyond amazed how I have been blessed, how God has just had me sitting in the palm of His hand. I look back and think how did that even happen? ....There's no way. Folks, if you have ever questioned if there is a God, I'm telling you there is. There is no way I would be at the place I'm at or be blessed with the things in my life if there wasn't, it's just not possible.

I feel like a freshman all over again, starting a new school, living on campus, having to meet new friends. I am scared out of my mind. Not working, that scares me, too. Everything about my life is uncomfortable to me right now. I wouldn't change a thing though. In the midst of this whirlwind of change, I feel so at peace. Maybe because I have finally realized I'm not in control, or maybe it's because I'm so afraid that it draws me more near Him, I seek His protection. Whatever the case may be, I am so thankful for this uncomfortable feeling. A lot of times we are afraid of change, and I think it's because we can't control it, we don't know how it's going to turn out. If we really lived in the center of His will we wouldn't need to know how it's going to turn out or even control it, therefore change wouldn't be so bad. I am embracing these changes and SO thankful that I don't have to worry about what is next. I am so thankful for the feelings of fear and confusion so that I may always seek His protection and guidance. I am so thankful that He is there....everyday.

Good Friday

Tonight, at church, we had our Tenebrae Service.  Simple, yet powerful. Later, that night I watched the Passion of the Christ. They were both such great reminders of the significance of today. I am embarrassed to say this but that was the first time the entire day I had actually thought about exactly what Jesus did for ME. The pain, the suffering, the beating, the ridicule... all for me. I feel so unworthy. When I think about God sending His only son, to die for me and my sins, I get so overwhelmed. I get overwhelmed with sadness. I cried, a lot, thinking about it.  In quiet times, I was reminded to not be sad. Jesus, His son, died so that we can have salvation and victory through Him. I was then overwhelmed with joy realizing I have a SAVIOR! and not only do I have Savior, but I can do ALL things through HIM!

With the events that took place in the last couple weeks, now more than ever, I have a heart over flowing with thanks. It's a list impossible to write.

Thank You, Jesus, for the many blessings you have bestowed upon me, and most of all, thank you for enduring the pain so that our sins may be forgiven, and any and all battles I may face in Your name are considered triumphs.

Learning and Leaning.

So, this week has been full of just unexpected... chaos.. I guess you could say. I came out to Colorado last week for the sole purpose of meeting some doctors. I told myself I wouldn't have expectations, but, of course, deep down I did. I'm happy and relived to say that the doctors out here met and exceeded my expectations. For once, I feel like I'm not fighting alone for myself, and I have hope that obstacles can be overcome, and more importantly WILL. Even though I had such a great meeting with the specialists, there were some change of plans. These "change of plans" have been such a blessing, though. Through this hard time I'm realizing a few things. One: no matter how far away from family and friends you are, you are not alone. It's so crazy that I've never felt more loved and closer to my friends and family then I have being here and I'm 500+ miles away. More importantly, though, I've learned that God equips us with the exact and perfect resources and tools we need to help ourselves. Essentially, we are not really helping ourselves, but through Him we are. I don't think I've given myself more pep talks in my life than I have here. I feel as if every other 20 minutes I have to talk myself through something, that it will be okay, that I have the strength. I know I hear my voice, but it's not really me talking. That's the cool thing. I'm so in awe of just how great His power is. I mean, I knew that. I knew "He's always with me". That's the thing to say, right? Everyone knows that. I guess before now I just sort of said it, never truly experienced it this way. I think that this whole experience is more than helping heal my physical self. I think there was a bigger plan. I am learning, and leaning more and more every day. I have this sense that I'm supposed to learn something huge. I haven't figured it out yet, or "learned" it yet, but I feel it coming.  


More to come. Stay tuned.